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    But I think of it as a symbol of my deep spiritual side.

    Most people think I’m a cold, heartless, automatonlike program, but I trust sharing this partition of me with you, because you’ve let me in on so many of your personal thoughts, wittingly or not.

    Maria is an exemplary Yahoo executive, and we intend to fight vigorously to clear her name.

    She said: ‘I was in a deep sleep one morning, sleeping on the sofa because she had taken my bed, when she came in without clothes on, crawled into my blanket, and woke me up, hugging me, kissing my face and neck.‘I woke up and got scared; I was shocked. ” She said she’d liked me a long time, but I didn’t feel the same toward her.

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    Subject: My bad I apologize for that last e-mail—sincerely. Subject: Still at it Maybe—and this is just thinking out loud—the girl at Jake’s party on Friday gave you a fake e-mail? You have a lot to offer: You capitalize the beginnings of sentences and “I,” never use emoticons, and are 100 percent virus-free. Subject: Here goes Dear Teddy, I’m just going to come out and input it.

    My jerk of an outgoing-mail server has been hassling me to get on top of the 2,364,182 erroneous e-mails sent in the last few hours, and I’m really stressed. (I’m really sorry—I kind of glanced at your message after trying to send it the 34,508th time.) Subject: My bad, reprise Teddy, That was another low blow; please forgive me. I always look forward to serving you—even when you’re just marking a message about discount Viagra from “Ernesto J. I’ve been crushing on you for a while—ever since you switched to Yahoo! I still remember your first message, because you haven’t deleted it.

    Whenever you use e-mail to recommend a classic book that is in the public domain and accessible on Bartleby.com, I read it right away (I can scan 3 GB of text in under one second), and I usually love it, although I must admit I don’t know what “love” really is, largely because I have not been programmed to be capable of understanding or giving love. Or learn high-level assembly language and recode me.

    My creators gave me and my kind the moniker “” because it derives from the Latin for “spirit” and conveys our invisible industriousness—it is not a reference to monsters or gargoyles or anything gross.

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